Dylan Klebold (photo by Corbis)In the 13 years that have passed since the Columbine High School tragedy,
when 12 students and one teacher were killed, shooter Dylan Klebold's
parents have remained largely silent about living a parent's worst
nightmare . . . until now.
In a shocking confession, Sue Klebold claims that on the day of the
massacre, April 20, 1999, when she discovered that her son Dylan was one
of the shooters, she prayed he would kill himself. "I had a sudden
vision of what he might be doing. And so while every other mother in
Littleton was praying that her child was safe, I had to pray that mine
would die before he hurt anyone else."
This break in the Klebold's silence comes as part of Andrew Solomon's new book, Far From the Tree,
an exploration of atypical children. Solomon spent 11 years researching
the book, which contains a controversial chapter on children who commit
crimes. In the months following the Columbine tragedy,
many people demanded to know the reasoning behind Eric Harris and Dylan
Klebold's actions. Desperate for answers, they blamed their parents,
assuming the shooters must have been brought up in unhappy, even violent
homes. But Solomon claims the Klebolds are loving and kind.
Susan Klebold (photo: Denver Post)In
remembering that day in April, Sue Klebold explains the agonizing
decision she had to make when she realized her son was one of the
shooters. "I thought that if this was really happening and he survived,
he would go into the criminal justice system and be executed, and I
really couldn't bear to lose him twice. I gave the hardest prayer I ever
made, that he would kill himself, because then at least I would know he
wanted to die and wouldn't be left with all the questions I'd have if
he got caught by a police bullet. Maybe I was right, but I've spent so
many hours regretting that prayer: I wished for my son to kill himself
and he did."
The Klebolds still live in Littleton, Colorado, in the same house they
lived in back in 1999. In fact, when Solomon traveled to interview them
for the book, he slept in Dylan's old bedroom. In speaking to the
Klebolds he found them very open, a stark contrast to the other parents
interviewed for the crime chapter. Tom Klebold said, "We are able to be
open and honest about those things because our son is dead. We can't
hope for him to do something else, something better. You can tell a
story a whole lot better when you know its ending."
If anything, the Klebolds' testimony in this book proves that the power
of parental love overcomes the unimaginable. When asked what they would
say to Dylan if they could speak to him now, Tom says, "I'd ask him what
the hell he was thinking and what the hell he thought he was doing!"
Sue's answer is a revelation. She says, "I would ask him to forgive me,
for being his mother and never knowing what was going on inside his
head, for not being able to help him, for not being the person he could
confide in."
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