It looks like "Jurassic Park"
will be opening its gates in the very near future as Universal has
announced a release date of June 13, 2014 for the long in-development
fourth installment in the franchise and tapped "Safety Not Guaranteed"
director Colin Trevorrow to call the shots.
In anticipation of "Jurassic Park IV" and the 3D remix of the original "Jurassic Park,"
opening April 5, we've gathered the five coolest dinosaurs that we've
seen at the sci-fi attraction so far ... and five that we hope to see in
next summer's grand re-opening.
The 5 Baddest Dinos of the 'Jurassic Park' Trilogy:
1. Tyrannosaurus Rex
The mighty T-Rex is at the center of some of the most memorable (and frightening) moments from the first three "Jurassic Park"
adventures, from its first appearance being ominously foreshadowed by
the shaking water glass to the "Objects in Mirror Are Closer Than They
Appear" gag to causing Julianne Moore to wish she didn't weigh so much
as the glass she was laying on splintered and cracked to the point of
audience madness. Oh, and let's not forget that toilet scene! This fella
was indeed the King of When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth ... until another
super-beast showed up and kicked its tail ...
The T-Rex gets all the press, but
this terrifying creature is actually the largest of all carnivorous
dinosaurs, according to recent estimates that put it at 57 feet in
length and 12 tons in weight. It made for the most mean-spirited and
scariest of the "Jurassic Park" villains, showing up at the most inconvenient times during "Jurassic Park III"
and -- in one of the film's showstopper set pieces -- staking its claim
as the new heavy-hitter by defeating the mighty T-Rex in a
survival-of-the-fittest smackdown that would've made chaos theorist Ian
Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) mutter "I told you so" if he had been there.
These things always steal the
show, as their comparatively smaller size makes them a much more
personal enemy for all the movie stars running around and their
ruthlessness and cunning makes them seem somehow smarter than most of
their bigger cousins ... and therefore more dangerous ("Clever girl,"
admits one poor bastard in the first movie before he gets wasted by the
worthier hunter). The Raptors were fringe players in the third movie but
stole the show in the first two, causing chaos in the kitchen in "Jurassic Park" and showing why you should never venture into the tall grass in "The Lost World: Jurassic Park."
4. Dilophosaurus
This thing looks cute for a while
in true Spielbergian fashion, then it grows bat wings or something on
the side of its head, screams its head off and spews some sort of
venomous liquid, dousing its victim in viscous goo before tearing it
apart. It made short work of poor Newman from "Seinfeld," who thought he
could escape the island when even Samuel L. Jackson couldn't. Foolish
Newman! Also, beware these things while on the "Jurassic Park" ride at Universal Studios -- that might not be harmless water they're spraying at you.
5. Pteranodon
Technically these flying wonders
aren't "dinosaurs" -- they're reptiles, but they don't belong to either
of the dinosaur groups of Saurischia and Ornithischia, which exclude
pterosaurs. Technically they are awesome, though, and were featured in one of the most intense set pieces of "Jurassic Park III." Man, don't even think of venturing within a mile
of the eggs of one of these things! They'll scream and flap and poke
and bite and create enough noise and chaos that if its physical attacks
don't kill you then a heart attack will. Plus, they can fly. Awesome.


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